I've always watched you from afar,
I love as you are,
I became him just for you.
But I await the day you will look at me,
Just like how you look at him,
Just like how I look at you.
- Amy T, aka Karinui, for Doppelganger
Doppelganger
Two years ago...
Akutagawa Jiroh walked over to the female Hyotei student, same class, standing by the fence, watching the tennis match as it progressed, eyes fixed on the game intently. Jiroh joined her, looking at the game. First years newcomers tournament. Marui Bunta of Rikkai Dai, playing singles. Jiroh watched him. Swift, artistic, deadly. What talent.
"He's amazing." his friend sighed, obviously awed by the red-head.
"Ain't I a tensai?" Marui smirked at his opponent, his infamous peace sign held up by his eyes, blowing his bubblegum casually, rubbing the his opponent's loss into the poor youth's face. Jiroh studied his friend. Her gaze, captured by Marui's aura. A smile of admiration across her face.
"...chan?" Jiroh called out to her, only to notice that she was not paying attention to even her surroundings. Could it be...
She was in love with Marui Bunta? At first sight? No...he must be overreacting.
Jiroh felt his chest tighten, his breathing cut short. He had no chance. Not with a tensai.
Not unless...he became Marui Bunta.
---
"Ohayo, Jiroh!!!" stepped into the classroom, and placed her bag down on her desk, before turning to her best friend.
"...zzzzzzzzzzz..." Jiroh snored, fast asleep. frowned. Again. It's been a while since he just fell asleep on the spot, as if he was tired, but when excited, was the hyperactive boy she always knew. She shook him gently.
"Jiroh...wake up..." cooed softly, but seeing no reaction, she shook him hard until he almost fell off his chair onto the ground. "Jiroh! Are you even getting enough sleep?!"
"I am!!!" Jiroh answered, yawning. "I dunno what's happened." A lie, covered by his innocent face. Jiroh had spent the night training secretly, training until he became his so-called idol, Rikkai Dai's Marui Bunta. Until he would be able to match up to him, and that would place her eyes on him for once.
"Sure..." frowned. "Anyway, are you doing anything this weekend?" It took a while for Jiroh to register that question, seeing as he was still sleepy.
"Oh...weekend? Apart from training...no." he answered, still full of sleep. clapped her hands.
"Great! I heard Rikkai Dai's regulars are having a match. Let's go watch together, Marui Bunta's definitely going to play, you're always gushing about how great he is...which is true, of course..." mumbled bashfully. "Anyway, wanna go?" Once again...a long pause.
"Oh, right...yeah, just remind me again later, that didn't register in my head." Jiroh placed his head down, closing his eyes, only pretending to sleep, to hide the fear of losing to Marui Bunta. Time was running out. He had to become Marui's mirror, and fast. Probably would mean longer extra training at night, now...
---
"MARUI-KUN!!!! SUGOOOIIIIIII!!!!" Jiroh shouted at the top of his lungs, full energy, supporting his idol at the stands, next to him, clapping her hands and shouting her support, though not with the energy Jiroh showed. The match ended with another victory for Rikkai Dai, in which...now that Marui has finished his match...resulted with Jiroh returning to his sleepy self.
"Nah...-chan, I might go look for somewhere to sleep..."
"Eh? You don't wanna watch the rest of the match?" frowned. She sighed. "Well, suit yourself. I'll be here if you need me." resumed watching the match. Jiroh decided he might head over to a tree to sleep, only to feel a little thirsty, and decided to go to the vending machine to buy something to moisten his parched throat, especially after all that cheering. As he walked, he checked his pocket for money, and seeing he was low in change, he decided to go back to to see if he could get her to exchange his notes with her coins.
He froze.
Marui Bunta was talking to , they were laughing, smiling, enjoying their company, it seemed. And then Marui took out his phone, following suit, and they exchanged phones to add their numbers and emails in, and gave them their phones back to each other.
"Oi, Marui! Sanada's calling us over!" Jackel Kuwahara called out to his teammate.
"Oh, sorry, I hafta go. I'll call you or something." Marui told .
"Sure, I'll see you later!" replied, waving as he left. Witnessing the whole scene, Jiroh just turned around and headed towards the mass of trees. Selecting one, he sat himself down, lent back, and closed his eyes, wishing he would just fall asleep. As soon as he fell asleep it would be all over.
In fact, he wished that he was asleep when he saw it. Then he would just need wake himself up, and believe it was all a dream.
Marui and . It was happening faster than he thought.
---
"Jiroh, I couldn't find you at all after the Rikkai Dai match, where'd you go?" sat down in her seat, looking at Jiroh, who was awake when she saw him, just half-asleep.
"Hnn...ah, I didn't feel to well, so I went home." Jiroh answered. Half true. He really didn't feel to well after that encounter with Marui and . The pain in his chest throbbed as he thought of them together...even if they were, but they looked so happy, the chances were high. looked at Jiroh with worried eyes.
"Are you feeling better now? Much as I hate to say this...but you really look as though you need more sleep." told him. Jiroh shook his head.
"I'm fine, see?" Jiroh grinned as wide as he could, sitting up, punching the air with determination, while swinging on his chair with only two of the chair legs still on the ground. laughed.
"Fine fine, I believe you...oh yeah, Jiroh, I won't be walking home with you today, I hafta meet someone." smiled as she settled herself properly in her seat. Jiroh raised an eyebrow.
"Who is it?" he asked. suddenly looked excited.
"Marui Bunta!!!" clapped her hands excitedly.
"WAH!!! SUGOOOIIIII!!!" Jiroh cried. Funny how he didn't feel excited as he made himself sound.
---
Jiroh walked slowly home. It was the first time he walked home alone, no by his side. He hoped that this would be the last time that this would happen to him.
It happened everyday of that week. went out with Marui Bunta. She even invited him on the second day she and Marui were going to hang out, in which Jiroh would answer: "Dammit!!! Such bad luck! 'Tou-san wants me home so I can help him with work...I won't be able to go out after school for a while."
And it was yet another day Jiroh walked home by himself. Only, he happened to see his idol, Marui Bunta, with , walking her home.
Jiroh felt the throbbing pain in the left side of his chest again. Almost falling over from the sight, Jiroh supported himself on the fence of one house.
"It must be because I lack sleep..." Jiroh told himself. "I'll go home, take a nap, and then I'll wake up, study, and train again. I'll be just like Marui-kun...and -chan will notice me again..."
---
It was the last conversation Jiroh would ever want to here.
"Hey, -chan, we've been hanging out for quite a while now, yeah?" Marui and were alone around the corner of Hyotei, Marui happened to come visit that day. Jiroh hide around the corner, eavesdropping.
"That's right, Marui-kun."
"Oi! I told you to call me Bunta."
"Oh sorry, Bunta."
"Much better. Anyway..." Marui cleared his throat. "Just wondering...how much do you like me?"
"Eh? I like you heaps, you're such a cool guy to hang out with! Pity, Jiroh can't see that...I always invite him, but he never comes." answered cheerfully.
"Akutagawa? Oh yeah, I think I know him..." Marui continued. "Anyway, I just wanna say that I really really like you. A lot. A looooooot. Dunno if you feel the same, but...I wanna ask you to go with me? Come on, date me!"
Jiroh didn't hear anymore, he couldn't here anymore. He ran. Ran to the park, where no one would find him. As he ran, he held onto his chest, the throbbing pain unbearable. His breathing patterns shortened, he was hyperventilating.
No chance. No chance at all.
Even if he became Marui's mirror, it was too late.
---
"Ohayo!!!" Jiroh greeted cheerfully, as he stepped into class. raised her eyebrow.
"Jiroh...you're not sleepy...?"
"Not at all." Jiroh grinned. Seeing that and Marui were probably going out now, Jiroh decided to go back to having a normal training menu. Which meant he got normal amounts of sleep. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." continued to look at Jiroh suspiciously. A uneventful class passed, and by the end of the day, they packed their bags, and were ready to leave.
"Well, I'll be going now, see you tomorrow!" Jiroh waved, swinging his bag onto his back, turning to leave. frowned.
"Oi! Aren't we walking home together?!" She snapped, slightly hurt that he didn't wait for her. Jiroh turned, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
"Eh? Aren't you going to hang out with friends or something?" Jiroh asked quizzically. shook her head.
"I don't hang out everyday, dork." She swung her bag onto her back. "Can't believe you didn't even work that out..." She walked ahead of Jiroh, stopping once only to tell him to hurry up. Still, he walked a distance behind her, not next to her. found this behaviour incredibly unusual.
"Jiroh...you're hiding something from me."
"No I'm not!!! I never hide anything from you!!!" Jiroh shook his head frantically, even though it still hurt inside. stopped, walked up to him, crossed her arms, and glared daggers at him.
"Jiroh. Tell. Me." She snarled. Jiroh's eyebrows knitted together. Even without her glaring at him, he still felt as if he needed to tell her. He already screwed up once but not telling her his feelings in the first place, hence losing her.
"-chan...you know why I've always idolised Marui Bunta...?"
"Because you love his technique, you always tell me that."
"No..." Jiroh smiled sadly. "Actually, I idolise him because you admired him. You looked at him with eyes you never would look at me with. I wanted to become him. I wanted you to look at me, like you look at him. I'm always sleepy in class cos I train secretly at night. I only just returned to a normal training menu recently, cos I knew that you would go out with him, you two seem to have so much in common." Jiroh shoved his hands into his pocket. Still smiling sadly, he laughed and started to walk forward. "Well, bye." He only took a few steps before scoffed.
"Baka."
"What?" Jiroh turned around, confused. "Why?"
"I'm not going out with Marui Bunta. He asked, but I refused." answered. "I'm not going to go out with someone I'm not in love with. Especially when I already have someone else in mind."
"I don't get you." Jiroh remarked, puzzled. rolled her eyes.
"Will this explain everything?" She stepped forward to Jiroh, and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Jiroh felt his heart race as he reached up to fingered the kiss he received.
"...?" Jiroh was bewildered. "You mean..."
"What you feel, I feel too." smiled. "We just got...a little misled. I never will look at you like I look at Marui Bunta. Cos I already look at you just the way you want me to look at you. You just never realised it, cos I was...always looking at you from a far."
Jiroh laughed, before wrapping his arms around into a tight embrace. "And I thought I was the only one. And to think I spent all that time trying to be Marui-kun just for you."
"You never needed to, baka." answered, resting her head on Jiroh's shoulder. "I had always been waiting for you."
fin.
_ k a r i n u i
13.March.2006